weeks 16, 17 and entering 18

It seems like the last couple of weeks have been pretty eventful, but I have forgotten to update this blog. During week 16 of my pregnancy I had a dr. appointment. Everything sounded good! They used the little doppler machine and I got to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time. It is always such a relief to know that there is still a living baby in there! I've had a couple of interesting symptoms as well. I haven't had morning sickness, actually I have my appetite back now. I am wanting all of the bad foods that I wanted before I got pregnant. I'm not sure that that is a good thing, but oh well. There was one morning last week I woke up and needed to blow my nose because I was having a hard time breathing. When I blew my nose I realized that blood was dripping everywhere! I don't normally get bloody noses. I've probably had about 3 that were like that in my life. Before I got the big bloody nose I had noticed that there was a larger amount of blood coming out than normal, but I didn't think much of it. After my real bloody nose, there was hardly any blood at all. I think I am getting ready to have another one soon though.

One day I was working last week and I had made some stupid mistake. It really wasn't a big deal, but at that moment it was and I started crying! I couldn't hold it back. The problem with that is that I couldn't stop crying. So I was embarrassed about my mistake and embarrassed because I was crying. It was terrible. I have felt a strong urge to cry a few time this past couple of weeks, but I've been strong since then. Hopefully nothing too stressful happens... It could be scary!

Last week I was sick with a little cold. I felt miserable. I was so tired, but I couldn't seem to ever get any sleep! I had to work and go to school during the day, and at night my nose would get so plugged up that I couldn't breath and it would wake me up. It was terrible! Luckily I am starting to feel much better! Hopefully I'll be able to get some good sleep before my belly grows a lot and I can't get comfortable.

Well that is all I can think of for now. I will have my next dr. appointment on January 5th. That will be the big ultrasound when I get to find out if I need to buy pink or blue!!

Entering week 15

I have heard that the symptoms such as nausea and fatigue usually go away in the second trimester, but last week they hit me hard core. I may have eaten something bad. There was a little amount of time where I thought that I had actually gotten sick because the girl I work with was "sick" with a stomach ache. The next day I asked her if she was feeling better and she told me that it turned out she was actually hungry! haha... Well I feel sick if I eat too late so I guess I can understand how she felt. There was one day I didn't get to eat early enough and I honestly though I was going to vomit! You'd think that eating would make me really feel that way, but not eating is much worse. When I don't eat right when I need to my stomach gets very upset, I get light headed and my fingers start to tingle. Maybe I need to get a little purse and fill it with snacks so that this doesn't happen anymore!

I looked at the following website about the 15th week of pregnancy and thought I'd post it on here to show which developments are happening this week!
http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/pregnancy_week_15.htm

Your Baby's Growth and Development
Your baby is growing rapidly as always as you continue your pregnancy week by week journey. You would still be able to see your baby's blood vessels through his paper-thin skin if you were to peek inside your uterus during pregnancy week 15. In fact the vessels forming in your baby's body make him look rather like a map! This week your baby will start producing lanugo, which is fine hair that will cover your baby's body up until a few weeks before birth. Lanugo covers every part of your baby in utero, except for the palms, soles of the feet, lips, penis, nails and inner fingers and toes. Typically babies will shed this hair by the 8th month of pregnancy, but it can persist in some after birth for a short period of time. Pre-term babies are more likely to be born with lanugo than full term babies. Your baby might start sucking his thumb this week.

The bones in your baby's body are also starting to get harder during pregnancy at 15 weeks and will continue to do so throughout your pregnancy. Your baby is spending most of his time practicing breathing, by inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid. Believe it or not, the very act of doing so will help your baby's air sacs develop during pregnancy. Your baby continues to form taste buds at this point in time.

Trimester #2!!

I made it through the week without the progesterone pills! Everything still seems like it should be fine. I'm pretty excited about it! I am in my 2nd trimester which is a huge relief. That is when most people in my situation usually start telling people. I went ahead and told everyone at 12 weeks. At that time my Dr. said that since everything was going so well I shouldn't worry about anything bad happening. He said that he thought it would be just fine to tell people. My next Dr. appointment is in 2 more weeks! This last couple of weeks has actually gone pretty fast. I will be 16 weeks at that appointment. I'm not sure If I have an ultrasound scheduled, but I really hope I do. I was at my friends baby shower yesterday and one of the girls there found out the gender of her baby at 15 weeks. I just want to see if I can get lucky and find out early. I'm just impatient! I guess we will see what he does!

week 13, no more progesterone :s

At my last Dr. appointment I was told that I can stop taking my prometrium. I am very nervous about it, but everything I have read says that the baby starts producing its own progesterone at 10 weeks. I took my last pill friday night. I sure hope everything goes okay! I thought about getting one more refill of my prescription just to be safe, but I'm sure that my dr. knows what is best.

12 week appointment!

Yesterday I had my 12 week appointment. I started out with an ultrasound, then went and asked the nurse questions about pregnancy, I got my swine flu vaccination, and then go my blood drawn. The vaccination didn't hurt at all. I can't watch when I get shots because it freaks me out, so I sat on the table waiting to feel some pain. I was very suprised when she said she was finished. I didn't even feel anything! It was great. I wish that getting my blood drawn was the same story. The phlebotomist had a hard time getting my vein this time so she dug around in my arm for a little bit. She did get the vein luckily. I hate being poked multiple times! I didn't realize that they were going to draw so much blood though. They filled like 5 tubes. At the end I was feeling pretty light headed. Getting blood drawn usually does that to me!

I was so surprised to see how much my little baby had grown in just 4 weeks. It went from looking like a little jelly bean to looking like a human! It's so cool! In this picture I origionally thought that the baby was sucking his/her thumb, but after further review(I've been watching a lot of football with Steve) I've decided that it looks more like he/she is picking his/her nose lol! It's cute! I'm not sure if that is really what is going on, but it just looks like it. I can't wait to find out what the gender of my baby is. I hate writing he/she!

11 weeks!

Well I never posted after my 8 week appointment. Everything was great! I got to see my little babies heart beating. It was amazing! I think I was in shock when I was told that everything was good. I was expecting to hear that I had miscarried again. I cried and laughed at the same time. It was pretty funny. I'm sure that the lady that was giving me the ultrasound was probably freaked out herself haha. Oh well though. I thought I'd post the ultrasound pictures and then I googled 11 week fetus and thought that this picture was the best.

aaaahhhh

Tomorrow is my 8 week dr appointment. It will be the day that lets me know if this pregnancy is going well so far or not. I am so excited, nervous and scared at the same time! I wen't and bought another pregnancy test today just to make sure that it was still positive, you know just in case something happend. I don't think I've had a test show up positive so fast. As soon as my urine touched the line that shows the positive sign it was blue. No questioning that. I sure hope that that is a good sign! I'm taking it as one. Well I will obviously be writing a post tomorrow! Hopefully it is a good one!

Food

Well this would normally be a bad thing, but considering my circumstances it is good! I have been EXTREMELY nauseus! I have only thrown up once, but I constantly feel like I am going to throw up. I don't know how I've held in what I have eaten so far. I am hoping that this is just happening because of my pregnancy and not because of my progesterone pills. It seems like it should just be pregnancy related though. I am 6 1/2 weeks pregnant and in most of the things I have read this symptom usually starts at around 6 weeks. Well I will hope for the best!

6 weeks!

Today I am officially 6 weeks pregnant!! I knew that I was probably pregnant again before I was 4 weeks so I just had to take a pregnancy test to show that I wasn't just crazy. I told Steven that we couldn't get to excited at that time because I just knew that I was going to start bleeding right in time for my period. That is what has happend every other time. Well That saturday came and went, and no bleeding, then sunday, monday, tuesday... Well you get the point. I decided to call the doctor because I wanted to get blood drawn just to make sure that my progeserone wasn't low or anything. He told me that he was just going to give me a prescription for prometrium, which is a progesterone pill. I do kind of wish that they would have drawn my blood so that I could know if that was really the problem. I'm not sure if the prometrium is the only thing keeping me from bleeding, or if this pregnancy is really valid. I have my 1st appt. in the beggining of October, so I guess I will know for sure by then!

My pregnancy symptoms are getting a little more severe. I thought that I was feeling tired at the beginning of last week... I didn't know what it was to really be tired. I am EXHAUSTED! If I could I would just lay down all day and sleep. That would make me happy! Today I have been feeling a little nauseous as well. Nothing serious, but some foods that I normally crave all of the time don't sound very appetizing right now. Well hopefully this ends well.

:(

Well I am on my period. I was bad though and didn't do what I said I was going to do. I took a pregnancy test yesterday. Not because I thought it would last, but because I wanted to know that all of the symptoms I've been having weren't just in my head. It was a faint positive which is a yes. I knew it wouldn't last though. I wish the symptoms would just go away faster though. They are feeling a little more intense today. I'm sure they will be gone in a few days. One of my "friends" on my facebook page is pregnant and almost every day she writes about how much she hates having her symptoms. I wish that I could tell her to get over it and to be greatful that she is pregnant. I don't think I've ever hear anyone complain about it more than her. It's just so annoying to me right now!

pregnant?

So I am hoping that I don't start my period. I am having a couple of symptoms like sore breasts, some fatigue, and I'm a little emotional. I don't wan't to get my hopes up though. Tomorrow is day 28 of my cycle and I probably will start my period. I guess I sometimes get these same symptoms when I am getting ready to start my period. I know that the only way to know would be to take a pregnancy test, but I'm not using another one of those things until I am very late for a period. Blah. I wish that I had some answers so that I could have a little more control of what is happening.

Yesterday I was feeling really down about everything. It is hard to imagine ever having a sucessful pregnancy. I can't even imagine making it to the first 8 week dr. appointment to see the heartbeat. Hopefully it will happen for me soon!

I also hate hearing people complain about their pregnancy symptoms. I will be so greatful whe I actually get to have more of them. I will be glad to have morning sickness. Even if it is uncomfortable, it is for a good reason! People having pregnancy symptoms should just be glad that they are pregnant! :p I probably would have complained about them too if I just got pregnant and never miscarried. But just being in this position has changed my perception I guess. I sometimes feel jelous of the people that are pregnant with babies that are due at the same time mine would be due. I will hopefully get over that soon. Well that is all for now.

Hormones :p

So yesterday I was on a little on the cranky side. There is really no reason so I am going to blame it on hormones. It's not such a good thing to feel so cranky with the work that I do. At the end of the day yesterday I asked my client if I seemed grouch and she replied with a firm "yes". I apologized and told her that I would try to be in a better mood! I was able to fake my way through it today. After working with my client yesterday, I went to work at pizza hut. One of the girls I work with is really mean! She is so bossy and, well, rude! I've know this since the 1st day I saw her. Well she was pointing out everything I was doing wrong and just watching me as I was running around trying to take care of every customer and answering the phone. Well that would probably make anyone feel frustrated! I thought it was noticable that I wasn't happy with her. Later on I apologized for getting so angry at her and she said that she couldn't even tell! I guess I need to learn how to be meaner :). Before that everything was just annoying me though.

This might be way to much information, but I am physically feeling a little better. My cramps aren't nearly as bad as they were a couple of days ago. The bleeding has also gotten a lot lighter too! It was sure uncomfortable and painful when it was bad. I've been trying to see if the HCG hormone is dropping by taking pregnancy tests since I haven't been able to get in to see a doctor. I took one today and it looked about the same as the last one I took. They have all been pretty light, but they are still showing up positive. I just want my body to be regular again so I can move on.

So when I first found out I was pregnant I was really hoping that it would work out and I couldn't think of any reason that it wouldn't so I told a few people at work. It is really hard telling people that I am no longer pregnant. I feel bad because they probably feel akward after I tell them. I would probably feel akward too if i was in their position.

Just another statistic

One normal day in september I woke up and hurried to the restroom so I could take another pregnancy test. Much to my suprise it was positive!! My husband and I stared at the test in disbelief for a while. As time went on we became more and more excited. We immediatly began searching for baby names. We decided on Emma or Samuel. Now we just had to wait 9 months. I spent just over a week imagining life with our new addition and how much fun it was going to be. Then one morning I woke up and noticed that I was bleeding. I knew that wasn't supposed to happen. I went on hoping that everything was going to be ok. Miscarriage wasn't anything I ever thought I'd have to worry about, but it was.

I went to the doctor 3 days later and was officially told that I had miscarried. I was completly devistated. I often wondered what I did wrong. All of my new plans and dream were ripped away from me. I couldn't, nor did I wan't to imagine life differently than I had been. I was told by the doctor that 1 miscarriage is normal and that actually 10 to 20% of known pregnancies actually end in miscarriage, and many people that have them go on to have healthy pregnancies later on. Then she told me I needed to wait a few months to give myself time to heal. After that visit I started blogging miscarriages and became somewhat obsessed with looking at different peoples stories and learning of different opinions doctors gave them. I decided to take there opinions instead of my doctors. I was sure I was emotionally ready to take on another pregnancy

Stubbornly, instead of waiting 3 months to try again I only waited one. I was successful at concieving again, but this time I was so worried all of the time. Everytime I would use the restroom I would look for blood. It was all I could think about. Then about a week after finding out I was pregnant it happend, I started bleeding again. This time I realized that I really wasn't ready to try again. I new I needed to take some time to heal. I went to the doctor again, hoping that they would help me try to figure out what was going on. Then again they told me that stastisically most people who have 2 miscarriages go on to have a healthy pregnancy the next time around. So again I was left with no baby and no answers.

I went into a deep depression for quite a while. It was difficult seeing so many of my friends and family having babies or getting pregnant. I felt so angry and wondered why this had to happen to me. I couldn't stand seeing so many people walking around the mall with their strollers and newborn babies. As time passed I did crawl out of that depression. I had finally learned how to deal with the pain. I was happy with the way life was going.

Finally, last month my husband and I decided to try again. It had been 6 months since my last miscarriage so we definately waited long enough for my body to heal. Well we were successful again! I took 2 pregnancy tests just shortly before I was 4 weeks into my cycle and they were positive. I was feeling somewhat optimistic, but I still had this feeling that something wasn't right. Well that feeling was right. just 3 days ago I started bleeding. I am now on miscarriage number three. This one has been extremely painful in both a physical and emotional sense. You'd think that it would get easier after already having the experience, but it isn't. I do feel that I am stronger than I was the first time and I know that there is life ahead of me, but I still have that void. Now I am considered to be at a high risk for miscarriage. I think that the doctors will start taking me more serious when I get pregnant and want to have things checked out. I hate just being a statistic. I wish that they didn't make me go through this 3 times for it to be considered a problem. I'm not sure what is going on yet, but I will be going to the doctor soon and will hopefully find out. We will be trying again soon. Hopefully next time we can fix the problem early on.